How did you get here?
“And you may ask yourself, Well, how did I get here?"" from Once in a Lifetime" by David Byrne and the Talking Heads.
That lyric rolls around in my head often. Years ago, it felt like a question full of pain and regret - like I was stuck in a situation that wasn’t what I had signed up for. Other times, it was imposter syndrome creeping in - wondering how I ended up in a certain job - if others only knew the truth about me… Lately it is a question that fills me with gratitude and awe - how did I get so lucky to be where I am right now?
In an interview with NPR, Byrne talked about how we're largely unconscious and rarely stop to ask ourselves that question - how did we get here? Is it worth knowing the answer? Or should we just accept that "it is what it is" and move on? I don't want to sell myself short. I am the sum of my decisions and actions, whether they were intentional or not. Sure, sometimes life throws things our way that we can't control, but even in those moments, we still make choices.
To me, it's not about regretting my actions, but rather fearlessly understanding my own role in my life. In that knowing I can let my gifts and my passions expand my options, rather than let my fears and weaknesses limit them. When I take time to reflect on my choices, conscious or unconscious, that led me to where I am today, I understand I can choose more intentionally and step into my future.
As Florida Scott Maxwell once said, "You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality."